The Letter
by tylerturner
Summary: Somewhere between formless sleep and hard reality, Yang finds a spot of hope. In time, reality echoes the dream. A one-shot cross posted from AO3.


Silence.

Since returning to Patch, the sounds of the world outside had gone from a powerful roar in her ears to a dull static that her mind could no longer register. The occasional creaking of floorboards during the day was the only reminder she had that she wasn't completely alone. When night fell, and her fretful father nodded off elsewhere in the house, she _was_ alone.

Sometimes there was wind in the trees beyond the window. Sometimes an ugly, ornery-looking black bird would perch in the branches. The beastly looking bird was silent as death in the midst of the night, and it mocked her. There were no snores of resting teammates. No quiet, indistinguishable mutterings from her baby sister. Ruby had left with Uncle Qrow, leaving her father so wounded he struggled to stay sane in front of Yang. Weiss had returned to Atlas. All the friends she made at Beacon were varying shades of traumatized, distant, or dead.

The sleek black coat of the bird outside reminded her of Blake, and the beautiful, long black hair that her mother had in dreams. Even its red eyes haunted her. It made her sick to her stomach. Her mother was gone - she left her. Blake was _gone_ \- she _left her_. All Yang had to show for it was her pitiful stump of a right arm. It should have been easy to be angry, to be upset… but because it was not easy, emotions had started to build into a big ball, buried away someplace where they couldn't bring tears to sleepless eyes.

There was a hollow sensation that kept her from unknotting that dreadful tension she felt in the center of her chest. Hollowness like years of training down the drain, like the end of a career of huntressing. It felt like _nothing._ A great, vast nothing that threatened to consume her every day, and then made good on the threat. In the faint reflection of herself in the window her eyes were dark violet, but the crimson color of rage would have been a welcome change of pace. Anything would have.

When she could sleep, she woke only to feel more tired. She picked at food and turned away the rest when her stomach squirmed. Conversation with her father shifted between forced to dismissive and she couldn't feel the guilt when he turned away from her, forlorn as his older daughter slipped through his fingers. Yang's long, once beautiful golden locks of hair became oily and unpleasant, the color of sickly, mustard-like yellow. She had no fire left to give, and keeping up appearances took effort and energy she simply didn't have, so she didn't. Yang Xiao Long did not burn. Instead, where there was once flames, there were only ashes.

The more she tried not to think about it - about _her_ \- the harder it got.

Everything was wrong. Everything was _gone_. Beacon Academy belonged to the Grimm. The world grew quiet and discontent as confusion spread. The Vytal Festival tradition had been sullied. Mercury and Emerald were still out there for all anyone knew. Pyrrha, one of the greatest and most respected warriors of her generation, hadn't even left behind a corpse - only her broken team remained. Penny may not have been _real_ but she was her little sister's best friend, and Ruby got to watch as she was torn into pieces, her parts kicked around carelessly by the Grimm that broke into the stadium following the horrific play in the stadium that was her demise. Yang wasn't one to judge her sister for the way she felt. Penny may not have been real, but then again, apparently neither was what she thought she felt from…

The thought was violently pushed from her mind.

She and Blake had gone through something more harrowing than anything she'd ever felt in her life. Despite the fear and anger she felt at the fate that had befallen her, there was no other person she'd have rather gone through hell with or for. Yang had paid a price in blood and bone alike, and if she hadn't lost her partner despite that, she imagined it'd have been worth it.

There was a word for that desire to give and give until she had no more. The willingness to sacrifice her very being. Heart, body, mind, and soul. Yang couldn't even work say the word to her own little sister as she turned to leave.

Now Ruby was gone too. Weiss was gone. Summer was gone. Raven was gone. Qrow was gone. Pyrrha was gone. Penny was gone. Ozpin was gone. Blake Belladonna, her partner, was gone.

All the love in her heart wasn't enough to keep them with her.

Day in and day out there was only the void in the core of her being. _Silence_. _Loneliness_. The thought of confiding in her father was like a faint murmur in the back of her mind, steadily drowned out by indifference. Apathy. Maybe it was childish, immature. The more she thought about it, the less she cared, and the less she cared, the less she thought about it. It wasn't like she knew the words to say that would make things clearer to herself, much less anyone else.

It was a curious day when realization dawned that she didn't know what day it was. What time it was. She didn't know how many uneaten meals her father had brought to her now. She'd lost track of how many bindings she'd gone through for what remained of her right arm. The instant she came to that realization was like a splash of cold water, and she suddenly felt very present… and very aware of how fleeting that feeling would be. It was an uncharacteristic burst of energy and mindfulness, but she was not herself. Without fire at her core she knew not what to do with it.

That feeling of not knowing seemed to blossom outward in her mind, like a bloodstain beneath black and white clothes from a sword wound. Even that bitter thought lost meaning and relevance as Yang's eyes wandered the room. She struggled to see the details. It was indistinct, like a blur. It was like the room she'd confined herself to began to stop existing, but her mind labored in futility to keep its shape so that Yang's sanity wouldn't slip through the cracks. She didn't remember having this many sunflowers in her room, yet here they all were. Dozens of them.

When her eyes veered over toward her remaining half of Ember Celica, there was a sensation like a wordless beckoning that demanded she look closer. She was on the edge of her bed before she realized it, eyes locked on a small folded up piece of paper attached like a little sticky note. She didn't remember reaching over and indulging her curiosity, pulling the note from the golden bracelet… yet, there it was in her hand. Just holding it made her heart pound in her chest.

She turned it over in her hand. There was writing on it, and while she couldn't… _read it_ , she could recognize it, and _feel_ its meaning and message without needing to examine the text too closely. There was only one person she could think of that could have snuck it into her room despite the silence of Yang's surroundings making it impossible for even the smallest of sounds to slip by unnoticed. The sheer absurdity of the thought never occurred to her. She accepted this perceived reality instantly. She didn't have to hope. She **knew**. A force in the back of her mind willed her eyes shut, and she welcomed that darkness because of what she **knew** was waiting within it.

She felt warmth in her body as a familiar, slender form made itself comfortable resting on her lap. She could feel her partner's long black hair fall around her on the bed. She inhaled a sharp breath, her partner's scent like gunpowder and flowery, scented tea leaves filling her lungs. When the light met Yang's eyes again, it was gold and glowing with all the life and love she'd felt fade from her heart the moment she heard that she'd left.

Yang parted her lips as though to speak, but a realization dawned in her mind the same instant Blake Belladonna's hand rose to press a finger to Yang's lips, silencing her. There was no need to rationalize any of what was happening right now.

"Shh."

Yang contented herself for seconds that stretched into minutes as she let herself fall deep into pools of molten gold. The gentle smile that graced the faunus' lips said everything that Blake couldn't before she ran away. When Yang finally spoke, it was a whisper, as though suddenly afraid that she'd scare Blake away with sudden noise.

"...Blake." Her partner's name left her mouth like a sigh, and weeks of fear, tension, and sorrow melted away. "You're here… you came back…" The lump that rose in her throat was not born of loneliness or misery, but the hope for happiness.

Blake was here with her, and that was all she needed. Yang's eyes searched her body as though to make sure every piece of her partner was there. It was as though the faunus sensed Yang's last remaining grains of skepticism as she rose a hand and cupped Yang's cheek.

"Yang… don't be ridiculous. You knew I'd come back for you." She murmured, her voice soft, her words deliberate such that it made Yang shiver. Yang hadn't known that of course, but in that instant she felt as though she should have.

Yang dared to whisper back despite the fear even a single word out of line would send her love away again. "I thought you… I thought you ran away... Like the rest… " Like Raven.

"Never. Yang… after all we've been through? I could never abandon you. Not like this… not when it's clear you need me…" Blake's voice was like honey as she leaned in with her whisper, and Yang could feel her breath tickle her neck as Blake nuzzled into her shoulder.

"Blake… I wanted to tell you… before you left…" It was important. She had to say it now, or she might not ever get another chance. "I knew for a long time… I just never said it before… but I have to now that you're here. Before you're gone again..." Yang tried to speak clearly, but her mind slowed to a stagger. She felt fingers wrapped delicately around her right wrist as Blake rose once more to look her in the eye...

...wait… her right...?

The sight was hypnotic as the faunus guided Yang's hand to her own cheek, Blake's eyes falling shut. Blake's skin was cool like the winter air that blew in through the windows at night, and the feeling was so prominent to Yang that she didn't think to question the fact that she had two arms again.

"I know, Yang." Blake said. She turned Yang's right hand in her own, pressing a soft kiss to the back of Yang's hand. For the first time in weeks, Yang felt heat and color rise to her cheeks, a fluttering sensation in her heart like witnessing small black ears twitching atop Blake's head.

The words spilled from Yang's lips without care or concern for the consequences. She could not contain them. She'd spent months wishing to say them, always fearing it wasn't her place, or that it wasn't the right time, or that she wasn't the right _person_ for the beautiful woman she'd come to know so well since they crossed paths in the forest.

"...I love you. I've loved you... I have loved you _so long_ that I've lost count of the days... I love you so much, and I've wanted to tell you all this time…" Yang spoke, suddenly aware of the gasps of air she was breathing between sentences, as though drowning on the urgency of her emotions. The skeptical part of her brain was so faint she could barely register it, even though it screamed for common sense to take hold. There was a wetness in the corners of her eyes, but it was so easy to ignore as she beheld the beauty of Blake Belladonna.

She didn't know what was happening and she felt virtually no control over the situation - neither over herself nor over Blake's effect on her. Before she could so much as express the slightest bit of that fear, she felt Blake crawl beside her, an arm slipping around Yang's waist as she snuggled into golden locks of hair.

"I'm here for you now Yang... and I'm not leaving you ever again." Blake murmured, her embrace tightening around Yang. Tears hadn't graced Yang's face since her sister left - there was only emptiness so vast and numbing that she'd have killed to feel something. Anything. Yet, as this shadow of Blake embraced her, the tears in her eyes began to roll down the sides of her face, her lips curling involuntarily. Yang wrapped her own arms around the shadow in her bed like she'd never get another chance. In a way, she wouldn't.

"I'm… so lost… I don't know what to do anymore, Blake… I don't know what I _can_ do…" Yang cried softly, her voice breaking apart into soft, quiet sobs. No answer was given other than a gentle squeeze from Blake.

"Please… just don't go." Yang heard herself speak much louder this time. As the words left her lips, warmth faded away in her bed. The time of surreal occurrences came to its end seemingly as soon as it began, and despite Yang's wish, Blake was gone. It was over in an instant. Yang was once again alone in her bed, with one arm and one grim reminder of what she had been willing to sacrifice for her partner and her love. The softness of the room hardened into solid shapes. The walls snapped into place, flat and evenly colored again. Dozens of sunflowers shrank away. Light faded in the room until all that was left was the pale reflection of moonlight from the snow outside.

The tears that had come so freely in that dream, however, remained, and they did not stop. Wet, choking sobs grew louder and less controlled such that Yang felt her whole body shake with them. She closed her eyes tight. It hurt… god, it hurt. Yet, there was something… right about it. She'd wanted this. She'd wanted to be able to cry for her. She had so many tears, and so much more that she would have given Blake in that instant. Anything. Everything.

So what if it had just been a dream, so cunning and clever that it could sneak up on her despite her having no memory of closing her eyes? The dream had power behind it that broke through a wall that Yang had been building since everything had fallen down.

The spectre of the love that Yang felt for her partner did not return to her, but the sorrow and pain remained. It was something. She could feel something, and it was enough for that moment in time. It sustained her as she searched inside for the will to rise from her bed. It gave her just enough power to glow, and her father saw it when he returned to her. She hadn't had to explain. No one knew loss better than he. Strength came back slowly but surely. Yang thought that perhaps with that strength, the hurt would fade, but it did not.

Sorrow remained until the day she ventured out from the room and felt the wind on her skin again, the heat of her aura wiping the bite of winter away. When she returned to her room that day, next to Ember Celica, she saw it. It was a letter this time, sitting on a tray. Taiyang must have seen it and brought it to her room. He must have known it was better for her to read it alone.

The room remained solid beneath her feet as she struggled to pluck the paper open with her remaining hand. The penmanship was legible, but shaken and hasty. The letters formed fully. The meaning of the note did not simply form in her mind. She actually had to read it this time.

The sorrow began to melt away, though like the seasons, it would take days of warmth for spring to clear away the snow. Her lips trembled.

 _Yang,_

 _I wish that I could have stayed with you. I wish that you and I could be safe together. I wish that we'd had more time so that so many things didn't have to remain unsaid. When Adam hurt you though, I realized that I had done something terrible. When I ran from the White Fang, I chose to go to Beacon for a lot of different reasons. I never lied when I said I wanted to be a huntress. I wanted to make things right, even if I wasn't necessarily sure how I was going to do it, or if it was ever going to be possible to live a normal life after all I'd witnessed and done... but Beacon and every student in the school was appealing most of all for reasons that I'm not proud of in retrospect. I envisioned every student, every teacher, every security measure in the school as a wall between myself and Adam, and by extension the White Fang as a whole. I saw everyone - including my team - as a disposable barrier, and I have no excuse for it._

 _I've spent a long time trying to come to terms with everything that came to pass between Adam and I, and I've let far too much of that impact and harm you. You have been endlessly kind and patient with me from the beginning. No one ever looked after me like you did. You and the rest of Team RWBY were the best things to ever happen to me, but you most of all. I became very scared, Yang. I was scared of how I felt and how the rest of our lives would be affected by my fear. Adam promised to hunt down and destroy everything I loved. He promised to start with you. When he said that I realized just how much I really care about you. I can't help but feel responsible for what you were caught in the middle of. I never want to see you suffer like you had to again. Not for me. Not for anyone._

 _I know this probably isn't enough to explain why I had to leave, and I know you must be so upset with me for leaving you. It killed me to leave you. If it were up to me, I'd be right beside you every moment during your recovery, and the fact that I can't be drives me insane. Unfortunately, everything is a mess and I'm still cleaning up - I have to._

 _If only one thing becomes clear from you reading this letter I hope it's this; I_ _am_ _coming back to you. I just don't know when, but I know it will be soon. I love you, Yang, and I wish I could be there to say it in person. Since I can't, I need you to stay safe and sane until I can._

I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry, and that I'm not letting you go again after this.

-B

* * *

 **The finale was rough. I wanted to write something fluffy for Valentine's Day. I guess whether or not I failed is up to you. Please consider leaving me a comment if you enjoyed it!**


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